disconnect.

i've been feeling pretty disconnected lately from my friends, family, and basically the world that is outside of dc. i know that there are many factors contributing to this : time spent talking with people or the lack thereof, being tired from working different shifts, being unable to express myself clearly to others. but i also think that part of this feeling stems from the reality that what i'm experiencing here is really different and foreign and hard to understand for anyone who is not here. i mean, even with my own housemates here in dc who have been to j-house and who i see every day i sometimes have trouble connecting with. it's kind of tricky to sit down at the dinner table to hear about everyone's days, to hear about office drama and misbehaving kids and then to have me say, "well, it was an ok day today, someone died today." that's just so outside the realm of normal and comfortable for most of us. and sometimes, when i am in such a deep place all day at work, living in that really sacred place between life and death and trying to understand more of both, coming home and watching tv or going out for drinks seems kind of shallow and insignificant.

all that to say, i'm sorry if i've seemed distant to any of you. i really want to continue to work on bridging this gap that i feel between everything i've experienced in life so far and my time here in dc. i want to share honestly and openly, and i want to hear about what's important to others too without passing judgment or feeling unable to connect. because i know that God is present in all places.

thank you for your prayers.