but i think one of the hardest differences for me has been in seeing those who are causing this violence. at joseph's house, we talk about how racism, classism, poverty, incarceration (that is unjust based on race and class), and other systemic and institutional injustices lead to lack of access to health care, to drug use, and ultimately, to someone dying of AIDS or cancer in our house who had no where else to go. i can rail against the government, or the "system," but my enemy feels fairly abstract and inaccessible. the story is different, however, at polaris. i have seen a woman's arm covered in bruises from her pimp's fist. i have heard the cries of a woman who has been utterly abused and then abandoned by a man who pretended to love her and brought her to this country that is so far from home to sell her body. i have witnessed the agony of a woman not being able to go back to her home country for her family member's funeral because of the power that her trafficker still has there. and still, i can and do protest the sexism and xenophobia that makes these women (and men) who are trafficked so vulnerable. but, there is also a person who's fist has left marks in her skin, whose abuse has left wounds in her heart. often a man, sometimes a woman, who is clearly a vessel of abuse and exploitation, whether for labor or sex. and when faced with that individual through my clients' stories, or to read about a man like shelby lewis in the news, i feel myself much more angry, much more sick at heart about the state of humanity. why do we exploit? why do we oppress? why do we abuse? how can we do this to one another? i do believe, at the heart of it, we all do want to be loved, to feel like we are of value, to feel that we are safe. this desire is what leads many of the women we work with into sex trafficking in the first place - the promise of love, of safety, of care, by a pimp who then turns their life into a living hell. but i believe that many of these abusers, along with sometimes mental illness, are confusing this desire for love with a desire for lust, for power, for sex, for money. the money, power, control will never satisfy that inner desire to be loved and to feel safe in the world; i believe only a trust in Someone greater than ourselves can do that.
so i guess this is just a reflection and a call for each of us to reflect on what it is that makes us feel loved and safe in the world. and if our sense of love and safety comes from the abuse of others in any way, from putting down others with our words, to consumerism when our underpriced products contain the sweat of children in third world countries or are sold by companies that exploit their employees by refusing them benefits, then we need to stop and think. and then we need to act for transformation of ourselves and our world, for a love that is not twisted into power or oppression, but based on care and service and a chance for each human being to live into his or her full potential. love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. may it be so.
