lately, it's seemed like joseph's house is a place where sex is on the brain. yes, i've said it. from a man with dementia who seems to think we were all his previous girlfriends and asks us regularly to shut the door so we can do "the booty," to another who requires an hour long bath to get his man parts good and clean, to crushes by older residents on young, cute volunteers, to silly readings of daily horoscopes that imply relationships are on the up and up, it seems that many at joseph's house right now are feeling some strong feelings around their bodies and sexuality. i remember the first time i realized that even people who are older, sicker, even dying are still people with sexual desires and bodily sensations. even in death, we are still in our bodies and desire to feel the closeness of other bodies, whether in a sexual way or just in a companionship. the whole life cycle holds sexuality, from babies in utero who can experience arousal, to men and women on their deathbeds. why is it that touch is so powerful, that we hold hands of those who are dying to comfort them when the time for words is through, that we lay next to one another in bed in solidarity? it seems that our bodies are powerfully connected to our souls, in ways that are beautiful and frightening.
i've been doing a lot of thinking about bodies and sexuality in the last few years, and while i am no where near a scholar on this issue, one thing that has become clear to me is that my body is good. bodies are good. this isn't a message i feel like i got from the church growing up. bodies were to be feared, to be hidden, to be protected. and yes, i believe bodies need to be protected, especially as i grow more passionate about the tragedy of widespread sexual violence against women. but i also realize that my experience of the church growing up was stuck in a gnostic dualism, a heresy that the church tried to overcome in the last first and second centuries, but still seems to be lingering today. this idea that the spirit is good, but the body is bad. that Jesus came not in body but just appeared to be a body, coming in spirit alone.
i reject this idea. to me, a key part of the reality of Jesus is that he came embodied, as a human being, in the flesh, and was also completely aligned with God's love and will as a part of God. clearly, our bodies are not bad, our sexuality is not bad, and God's spirit is not a spirit of fear, around these issues or others. it takes a lot of discernment of the spirit and creativity to honor God with our bodies, but to shun them or ignore them or reject their desires as bad or sinful is, to me, to reject the incarnation. i am still struggling to get past this dualism, to celebrate my body as a gift of God instead of fearing it. i'm not advocating for some kind of free-for-all, sexual revolution. but i do pray that the church can struggle with this same issue. i pray that we can move past talking only about how "true love waits," but go deeper into God's intentions for our bodies as a piece of God's intentions for our lives - not "thou shalt not" but what would God have us do, celebrate?
i don't have a lot of answers, but i have many questions, and i want to live into them, both at joseph's house and in my own life. can i provide touch and companionship to this man who has these desires in a way that is not sexual but honors both him and myself? through a warm bedbath, a foot massage, a hand held? can we experience the freedom of the Spirit instead of fear around our bodies? Lord, be with us and help us to honor you, in all things, with all things, not just our spirits, and our minds, and our possessions, but also our bodies, your good creations.
